I'm back :D

So, after months of stressing, being miserable and just not being myself, I've come to the most obvious decision on earth. I'm done trying to be something I'm not. I'm hyper, I get excited without any reason whatsoever, I'm loud, I say stuff that people find very very weird, I HATE pop(I'm more of a alternrock/soft rock kinda gurl) and I'm HAPPY! I know I have a weird accent which isn't exactly maldivian, malaysian or indian (I'm not quite sure what it is) and I'm sorry if it isn't 'brown' enough for some people (haha, trust me, that wasn't my choice of words) but I like it :). I think it's interesting, and if it's weird or whatever, so be it.

And yes, I'm 16. Get over it already.

I'm done with feeling upset everytime someone calls me ugly indirectly. Just because I'm new in Malaysia and I'm little doesn't mean I can't be a bitch. I just choose not to be most of the time.

Am I a pain in the ass at times? that I am(see, acceptance is good.heh). But I have some amazing friends who love me just the way I am. And if I'm too immature for some people, just imagine what other people must be saying about you.heh.

So to everyone who has been HORRIBLE to me over the months...
You.Can't.Break.Me.

And for those really really nice people I've met, I mean no offense to you whatsoever, and I love you guys for being such good friends to me.

Dhivehinnah: Yeah, I'm back:D and...thanx for bitching with me.

Tagged

So I've been tagged too


1) Three Things I can't do:
- Listen to rap. Seriusly. I just cant.
- Whistle...how stupid is that?:P
- Hide my feelings very well...hehe....and that tends to get me into all kinda messes.

2) Three things I can do:
- Stick by my beliefs regardless of peer preasure oh watever
- Shop for hours and hours and hours
- Eat alot of ice cream. Honestly, I don't know anyone else who loves it like I do.

3) Three things that scare me:
- Not having a happy ending
- People changing
- Not living upto my own expectations of myself


4) Three things I love:
- Cuddling :) but not with just anyone of course..hehe
- CHOCOLATE!
- Hanging out with my gurls


5) Three things I hate:
- Back stabbers
- People who think they kno me when they dont kno me.at all.
- Racist people


Well now, I will tag these three lovely people.
- Luzzio
- Justin
- Moon

Blogging from the web

I'm bored. I finished class at 10 today(wuhoo just one class) Well, I skipped thinking skills but cmon, it's thinking skills. I fail to see the whole point in the subject since it never seems like we make any progress in it and australian universities don't even consider it a subject. And yeah, i suck at it.Heh. Which is kind of embarassing since it's called 'thinking skills' and me getting a D in it basically means I can't think. But I got ok marks in my other subjects, so that clearly shows my thinking ability aint too bad...so really, they should rename the subject.

Annnyways, after business class I spent an hour in the library studying offer and acceptance for our law test on Monday as I have no intention of studying too much during the weekend because,well, it's the weekend. Urgh! Honestly, contract law is soo complicated and there are so many cases to memorise! And to think we were complaing about ELS. But I guess I should get used to this if I intend to study law in uni. Hmm...I'm still trying to decide whether I should do a double major in l law/econs, law/journalism or law/politics. The latter seems the most appealing although I don't reckon dads going to be too pleased. He wants me to stay as far away from politics as possible and he does have a point. I mean, my dads not a politician exactly, but me and my sister have gotten enough crap from people because of his job and I know he's faced much,much worse stuff. People just don't seem to realize that a job doesn't define a person. Sigh, oh well. But anyway, I don't intend to get into the Maldivian politics...I want to work as a lawyer in the UN hopefully. Hmm... I guess I should try to actually get into a decent uni first.Heh. At the moment, I need to get a minimum grade of AAB to get into Monash or an ABB if I decide to settle for UQ. But I dont want to settle, I'm done with settling.

Dream girl - Dave Matthews Band

I would dig a hole all the way to China
Unless of course I was there
then I’d dig my way home
If by diggin’ I could steal
the wind from the sails
of the greedy men who ruled the world

Still you’re my best friend
And after a good, good drunk
You and me wake up and make love after a deep sleep
Where I was Dreamin’, I was Dreamin’ of a
Dreamgirl, Dreamgirl, Dreamgirl, Dreamgirl

I was feelin’ like a creep
As I watched you asleep
Face down in the grass,in the park,
in the middle
of a hot afternoon
Your top was untied
And I thought how nice
It’d be to follow the sweat down your spine

You’re like my best friend
aw after a good, good drunk
You and me wake up and make love after a deep sleep
Where I was Dreamin’, I was Dreamin’ of a
Dreamgirl, Dreamgirl, Dreamgirl, Dreamgirl

Caught by a wave
my back to the ocean it knocks me off my feet and
just as I find my footing
here you come again
Dreamgirl, aww Dreamgirl, Dreamgirl, Dreamgirl, Dreamgirl,
Dreamgirl,
(

1 down, 9 more to go..

The fasts that I have to replace before Ramadan, that is. Considering that it starts in September, it's a bit of a rush I guess, but what can I say, I love my food. Heh. Ok, so maybe I can't exactly finish it most of the time, but I do love what I do manage to eat. And when was the last time anyone saw me unable to finish chocolate anyway? Chocolate qualifies for food,right?

Today was extreeeemely tiring and very....strange. I woke up at 5 am to have my breakfast and figured I would just stay awake. Hah. I really should stop making stupid decisions like that so early in the morning. I spent the rest of the day regretting it, walking around like a zombie, talking a mile a minute about god knows what. Oh god, I don't even remember most of what I said. Justin claims I was being 'very honest' with my opinions today. Sigh, something tells me that's not a good thing.

I've been listening to alot of Damien Rice and Elvis Perkins these days(good stuff, but you might not want to try it if you're into stuff like say...rihanna?). I've figured, it's ok to be sad once in awhile as long as it's something worth being sad over. At least that's what my mums always told me and my sis. This homesickness is probably just a passing thing after my hols...ahh,we shall see. Hmm soon enough, I'll be listening to the Kooks and Arctic Monkeys again (=

A thousand splendid suns

That's the title of this book I'm reading(thanx again mervyn). It's by an author called Khaled Hosseini and it's about the lives of two incredible afghan women. I haven't even finished the book yet, but it's already breaking my heart thinking about the injustice these women have to go through....it makes me appreciate my life just that little bit more. It makes me wonder how we could all follow the same faith, yet, interpret it so differently?

I wouldn't call myself very religious, but I am pretty big on the key points like praying and stuff and when it comes down to it, yes, I love my religion and I refuse to believe that it could stand for so much violence and injustice. I refuse to believe that men are superior to women. Are we different? Well, I can't imagine a man giving birth or women doing many of the things that men do,we're just not born that way. But are we equal? That, I believe without a doubt. For everyone that believes otherwise, it's time they opened their eyes and stepped into the 21st century.

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger

And I believe that, I honestly do, but sometimes, it's just so HARD when the bad stuff keeps on happening because sooner or later, you just get tired of trying. This past year in paticular, has been extremely hard...which is to be expected because all your problems seem to get bigger as you grow up(remember when wanting that doll house was the biggest of your worries?heh.) and it's not exactly easy living in a country which is completely foreign to you. But, sometimes I just wish life would give me a break, sigh....because it's just too hard. Just way too hard.

And then there are extremely complicated boy issues(can't live with them,can't live without them *unhappy sigh*) I don't really want to get into the details, but when you realize you mean something to the guy you like,just not ENOUGH, that hurts. I don't blame him, he has his reasons...and if it were any other guy, I would probably do the same. The thing is though, while I have exactly the same reasons for not wanting to be with a guy right now, with him, I know it might actually work. Because it comes down to this; he's not just some other guy...he's THAT guy and always has been, we're both just a little older now. At least I would like to think so. But oh well.

Well, this has been one very emo post. But it's alright, I'll be alright. Afterall, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...right?

And so it begins again...

..and not surprisingly, has a single thing changed. Just more breaks. Joy. Oh believe me,those breaks would have been greatly appreciated if I lived somewhere nearby and I could run home(or rather walk slowly) to catch a quick shut eye or something. But as it is and there is absolutely nothing productive to do AT ALL during my normal 3 hour breaks, those breaks come detested. Detested! Sigh, I know it's been 6 months but I'm still not used to the malaysian way of life. I haven't even been able to master the language of 'lahs,mas and mehs' yet! And that's saying alot. And how I miss having a biiig group of friends around as I would in Male'. Hmm...maybe I should have joined CHSE. Heh. I dont dislike Malaysia THAT much.

But honestly speaking,chilling with Justin and Mervyn at AC,cafe'and starbucks does have a certain appeal. We dont go to Cabanna much these days(and I cant say I'm paticularly upset about this fact). Now that I think about it, it's probably because we dont hang out with the girls these days who were the ones that always insisted on going to Cabanna in the first place. Sometimes I wonder if thats how I act around my girl friends back in Male'.Maybe.Probably. So why can't I fit it or even want to fit in with my most of my female friends here? Most guys, I instantly click with, but the girls always leave me feeling like my brains too big for my head. And that hardly ever happaned in Maldives. Oh well. I like feeling smart.

Coming to the acedamics, the CAL office people(god bless their little souls) assigned us one of the best economics teachers at taylors. Sadly, we're still stuck with Sunthary for our tutorials. Oh how I dislike her teaching...it's like she sucks all the knowledge out of our brains and it then vanishes into thin air, never to be seen again. Hmm..that reminds me, she's on MC so class doesnt start till 9 tomorro (late class = one extra hour of sleep *happy sigh*). We even start at 9 on Mondays and Wednesdays. Ahh, Sem 2 at Taylors might not be too bad afterall.

Male'...

I miss it already. It hasn't been one day since I left,but I want to go back soooooo bad. I miss everyone. Sigh,6 more months to go.